My memory has bought a one way ticket to nonsense

It’s been 18 months since getting off the Depakote overload for eight years.  It probably took a year or so for the meds to flush out of my blood stream, liver, and brain.  Well, not so much my brain, i.e. prefrontal cortex, that little puppy is damaged yes it is.  This is the center of attention, memory, executive function, and emotions to name a few.  Here is the thing, I cannot remember much, it’s true and entertaining until the house burns down.  I’m confessing up, so this morning the four of us were puttering around getting ourselves out the door for school and work.  My 14 year old daughter is looking to be in charge of her own Fortune 500 in some years.  She’s got game, drive, and a routine as well as rigidity and pow.  My 13 year old is compassionate, creative, and will leave the house without her head on and will never know it.  They are fun kids. We live by the slogan, “be yourself and we’ll honor you unless someone draws blood toward another person.”.  And my husband is a calm and patient man, a truly loving kind soul.  Back to this morning, everyone is out the door and I am getting my breakfast ready.  I put my pan on the stove and get distracted, that’s the norm for me, and the smoke alarm goes off.  It’s attached to our alarm system.  The alarm system company usually calls the house immediately after the system goes off.  I fly upstairs to our land line and I miss the call.  I pray nothing will happen because that’s how it has happened in the past.  Today was my lucky day and the fire truck pulls up.  SWEET!!!! Our dog Acadia is thrilled, new friends!!!!

The kindest female firefighter approached me in her uniform.  What a lovely soul, you could see it in her eyes and smile.  I’m smiling and laughing inside as I explain my “burning the butter” story.  A common day occurrence in my life especially on the nights my sleep has been poor.  I get a thumbs up, call my dog, and go back inside to resume cooking my things on the burner again and then my neighbor pops in.  DISTRACTION ALERT!!!  I start catching up and forget about my “cooking butter”.  Yup!!! I’M a keeper.  I run over and turn everything off.  I am happy that once you turn off our alarm it has to be reset again in order to work.  No alarm this time.  The moral to my story today is have someone else without memory issues cook for you daily.  One more confession, this smoke alarm goes off at least once a week.  Oh well, fire insurance is up to date and my secret is out.

Quickly, I’ll let loose on one more thing.  I am absolutely owning my “shiz”.  I laugh at myself and others daily.  It’s what you have to do.  Let go of the anger and inevitable absent minded things we do.  BE KIND FOR GOODNESS SAKE. Don’t be a holier than anyone else kind of person, no one likes a show off.  Hmmm, mental illness sucks and many people suffer.  Get some sleep, get some patience, and do find a good doctor if you or your loved one needs help.  Off to cook again, my family is back home.  Oh the stories they could tell.  Peace, love, and happy vibes tribe.  Now where are my meds…..?

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